Goodbye 2015! Hello 2016!!

Goodbye 2015! Hello 2016!!

Its almost 2016 and i find myself looking back over the course of this year. Its hard to believe how much can change in just a short amount of time. Its hard to believe how some things just play out. Coming into 2015 I never would have thought I’d be where i am now, and its just been one short year. I came into it as a new horse owner, very excited yet nervous on how my two year old would start out. I came into the year as a full time assistant trainer to my boyfriend. Hoping and praying I would remember everything he had taught me. I came into the year with hopes and dreams, not once thinking the year would play out the way it has. 

If you had told me January 1st, 2015 that the horse we just picked up from her vacation in Kentucky would trot in 54 flat i honestly wouldn’t have been surprised. But if you had told me that she would contract West Nile and end up dying, well i would have told you to shut your mouth. If you had told me that I would end up getting in a nasty accident and totaling my car and fracture my hand, i would have laughed and said no way.  Because this stuff doesn’t happen to me, or so i thought.

2015 started off with a bang. How could it not? Goldie had ended 2014 coming 2nd in the Sire Stakes final. We had bought some decent bred yearlings from the sale. And we had a barn full of new horses. 2015 was looking pretty decent for us. When Goldie started her 3 year old career she started it off with a win coming from last with Brad Hanners. To us that was a sign we were going to be alright. The next couple months were pretty good. My two year old trotting colt went out and won his first lifetime start at converse then came back two weeks later and did it again. It seemed like everything was coming together for a banner year.

Then Goldie went in 54 flat and we went nuts. We knew that we had another shot in the big final. We didn’t think we would beat Churita but we knew we had the potential to finish in the top three once more. So she got another couple weeks off and came back for an elimination then a final. That final was the worst she had raced. Luckily there was a couple weeks before she would race again and maybe she needed a little break.

Next thing we knew she was sick. What we thought was tying up, turned out to be West Nile. We exhausted all our options to try and keep our mare. Taking her to Purdue in hopes they could save her. But before we knew it she was gone. That was only three months ago and it feels like a lifetime ago. 

After she died it turned into a domino effect. One thing after another happened. We ended up having another horse get sick from West Nile, but by the grace of God we were able to save him. I thought if we were able to save him things would start to get better, right?

Nope. Next thing i know i got in a car accident that was bad enough to total both cars, fracture my hand, and leave with me with a constant thought on how it could have been so much worse. 

I’ve sat here and continually thought about how bad this year turned out. Ive sat here and thought how its not fair that all this has happened. Ive sat here and thought how we should have made sure she had been vaccinated, or how i should have stayed home that day. But in the end it doesn’t matter if you have these thoughts. You can’t change the past, you can only learn from it.

You can sit there and wallow in your own misery or you can get up and make a change. You can sit there and do the “what ifs” but in then end it won’t change anything. it just makes you hurt even more. 

I believe things happen for a reason and that it really is a part of God’s plan no matter how hard it is. We were blessed to have Goldie and all of the memories she gave us. I was blessed that the accident hadn’t been worse and that everyone was alive and okay. We have to look at the little things, even if our problems seem so huge. We have to keep our heads up, our hearts protected, and remember that everything will in the end workout.

So as I go in to 2016 i still have my hopes and dreams for how the year will go. Will it go how I plan, probably not. But it will definitely be a wild ride and I’m certainly up to it. So as you go into the New Year leave whatever has hurt you in the past. Your mistakes, your heartbreaks, leave it in 2015. Don’t go into the new year letting all of that drag you down. Don’t let those moments break you. Don't let them define you! This is it! 2016 is your year! Go out and embrace it!! 

Oh! and remember Jesus is the Wayy!! 

~Lexi

Thanksgiving

 It's been quite awhile since I've posted a blog. A couple things have happened that have certainly gotten the best of me. But I've finally had time to come to terms with somethings and also realize that I'm more than what others may think I am! 

So as we come into the holidays I'm here to tell you it gets better. And it can be hard to see that. It can sometimes feel like your world is falling apart and you may even feel alone in it all. But it's not, and your certainly not alone. 

I know it. Because I often have moments where I feel alone, so totally alone. And it's a rough feeling, especially when your going through some hardships. And let's be real there's always at least one person that doesn't help that matter in anyway. 

In the past few months I've had a few things happen. And I've let what people said about me get the best of me. I've had my fair share of crying and lashing out. But then I realized that everybody goes through something. And that the people talking, well I'm better than what they think and better than them. 

Which brings me to this: Don't let that person get you down. Don't let that situation get you down. And don't let yourself get you down! 

You are more than what people think of you. You are more than the situation your in. Your more than what you think you are. 

Your just that, MORE!! 

Taylor swift said it best. Haters are gonna hate, so just shake it off! Shake it all off. Get up, dust those shoulders off, and lift your head up high. You can do this. You can make it through this tough time. You can make it through today. 

Today's a new day! Try looking at things in a new fresh perspective. It's the week of Thanksgiving. Take this time to not worry or stress. Instead take this time to look at the blessings in your life. Your family, your loved ones, your job, Ect. I promise when you count the blessings you'll find you have a lot more going for you than you think. 

So go make today your bitch! 

Happy Thanksgiving 

    & 

<3 Jesus is the Wayy!! <3

-Lexi 

Reality

Reality. It has a very unique way of running up on you and hitting you where it hurts. It has a way of showing you the facts instead of the lies you've been feeding yourself. 

Reality. It sucks. 

It's been a week since we lost our sweet Goldie. And I know some people are probably thinking "get over it already!" But it's a lot easier said than done. 

Following the days after Goldie I think I had checked out, mentally. I couldn't grasp everything that happened. And I certainly wasn't accepting of it. 

I was very much in denial. 

Then Saturday night as we watched two year old pacing fillies race, we ran into Ted who owns Topville Cadillac. She was flawless and won her Sire Stakes final, which Ted invited us to be in their win photo. It was exciting and we were so happy for him. 

But then as we stood in the winners circle reality struck. And it hit hard. I realized in that moment what had happened. I realized that all the times I hoped to meet Goldie there on a finals night was gone. That we weren't going to be picking her up from Purdue. That she was in fact gone. 

And then I got angry. 

I explained my frustrations to Mike. Telling him I was mad at what happened. I was mad that it happened to Goldie. I was mad that we couldn't save her. And I kept asking God why. 

And just as quick as that anger had arrived, it was gone. Leaving the sadness in its wake. And Mike so calmly and sweet explained to me that I had tried so diligently to be positive during it. That I hadn't prepared myself for this and that I had been hit with a "reality stick." Then he told me to cry. I cried a freaking ocean. 

And then I slept. 

I woke up, sad. But with a better perspective. Losing Goldie has been very tough. She was family. She was a friend. She was our kid. 

But I believe God has a beautifully wonderful plan. And sometimes the things that happen don't make sense. But I know I can't sit there and question. I have to move forward and trust in Gods plan. 

He blessed me with the time I had with her. Hes blessed me a loving family, wonderful friends, an amazing boyfriend, and a job I love.

So despite the bad things that happen. Everything will be okay. Everything will work out.  Because the reality of it all is that God has a plan and I know it's a freaking good one. 

And I rest in that!

<3 Jesus is the Wayy!! <3 #BeEncouraged 

Hell of An Amen

I remember standing there, not paying any attention to what was going on in the background. To engaged in the conversation I was having, until I heard my name. I remember Mike telling me to go look at the horse he had bought. At the time I didn't think he was going to buy anything so I was thrilled. I remember running down the aisle until I found #180. 

I opened the door to be greeted by two wide eyes. She was beautiful. A long blaze slid down her face and she seemed so calm yet alert. 

"Your coming home with me baby girl!" I said to her. She walked right up and placed her head to my chest. In that moment I knew I had fallen in love. 

In the months to come we broke her to the harness. She was anything but calm. She bucked, kicked, tried to lay down. She was wild. But Then as quick as the switch had turned on it switched back off. And she was a sweetheart. She did her own thing. She'd jog with her tongue hanging out and as soon as you bathed her she was right back in the sawdust as if to tell you she liked being dirty. She was the definition of perfection. 

She only impressed us more when she went to Hoosier and excelled in the Sire Stakes. It was a job and she was a hard working professional. She loved it. 

She was never just a horse to us. She wasn't just an animal. She had become our child. She did whatever she could to make us happy and we tried to return the favor. She was a huge blessing. 

So when she got sick we tried to tell ourselves she'd get better. And she tried. She fought hard. She tried to make us happy. But seeing her the way she was only broke our hearts more. We exhausted all our options to try and bring back our carefree, blaze face. But it didn't work. She looked exhausted, but still tried to be herself. When we'd get emotional she'd start to chew on our shirt or nudge one of us with her head. Almost to say "it'll be okay." 

So when they called and told Mike what needed to be done he knew it was her time. She didn't owe anyone anything. She had gone above and beyond for all of us. And she deserved to go in peace. She deserved to no longer be in pain or suffer. And just like that she was gone. 

And it hurts. 

I don't think I'll ever meet a horse as classy as she was. As willing and giving as her. She may of had a few bad races. She may have not won the big final. But she did everything right. She was flawless and she was honest. She was an athlete and she'd tried her hardest. And she loved us unconditionally. But she loved Mike more. He was her person. If she wanted anyone, it was him. 

They were the dream team. 

She was our Goldie. And we now have to rest in the fact she's kicking up the dirt in heaven. 

So don't tell us she's just a horse. Don't tell us that we didn't lose a family member. And don't tell us that we should have appreciated all the good times. Because we did. We appreciated everything about her. And we still do!

She's probably going in .52 now. 😊

We love you Goldie. Thank you for everything that you did for us. Rest easy mama. Till we meet again. 

🎶That's the only way to go

Fightin' the good fight

Til the Good Lord calls you home

And so be well my friend

Til' I see you again

This is our last goodbye

But it's a Hell of an Amen, Amen💔